Another day of waiting

We finally saw Aubrey's surgeon first thing this morning, and we're told she lost blood but nothing too bad.... so she will need another day to just lay in her crib hooked up to the IV. This means I can't feed her until "maybe" tomorrow. The nurses had to move her IV to her foot because her hand started swelling. Poor baby :( I really am in disbelief she's going through all of this...... lost blood, swelling and bruised hands..... she also has a bruised heel from another needle.......... everytime I think about why we're here it still makes me cry, but the only comfort I have is that if we didn't bring her in I would be crying sadder tears.

Little Aubrey's been crying on and off (we're told that's a good thing). She's finally letting out stool along with urine, so that's a very good sign. Surgeon also said we could hold her a little more today, but since she spends most of the day asleep, I won't be able to hold her until she's awake... which lasts about a minute at a time. I don't know how to express it anymore just how much I want to hold her for good, feed her the milk she deserves, and for us to be home already and reunited with her brother (whom I am always thinking about and missing so very much right now). But I know I can't rush her recovery, we have to take it by the day. I'm trying to keep my anxiety levels down with internet distraction while I sit across the room from Aubrey, but in this situation, even the internet is getting boring. I get up every few minutes or so to look at her or stroke her hair, stroke her head, stroke her foot.... Papa ended up going to work today though he was scheduled to be on vacation until Tuesday. But since we're in just a waiting period, we figured it's best he goes to work and save his last 2 days of vacation for when we're home.

Every chance I get Aubrey hears from me how she's a brave little soldier. Because she is. How her little body is going through so much right now, without our constant touch on her skin... she's swaddled up, that's all that's holding her tight. I am so anxious to hold her against me......... Even with all these things on her face, she's so beautiful. I'm thankful that she's even in my life, and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life watching her and her brother grow.