Home for good

We were discharged from the hospital yesterday right before lunch time. Aubrey is now pooping and peeing normally. and she has an appetite! Ever since coming home, what we give her isn't enough. At the same time, we are careful to give her too much so her stomach can hold it down.

The nurses didn't want her to go home, as they were all enchanted by our little princess. Everyday we were there, each nurse and doctor that came in just had to say how cute she was. Even when we first checked in, one of the first nurses to help her said not too many babies look good, but we got lucky =)

We've been extremely busy with the two kids now. So updating this blog may slow down!

Good latch

Ms. Aubrey Artemis is a great latcher. Thanks to the advice of the lactation consultant. Remember, mommies: Don't forcefeed! I made that mistake with my firstborn, and it took us a very long time to get breastfeeding down! With Aubrey, we got on it pretty fast.

Progress report

Well, today, I finally stepped out into the sunlight for a cold walk that I needed. It's been 4 days since I've been in the hospital with Aubrey and haven't seen the sunlight. Brief walk, but it did the job.

On to much more exciting news, everything on Aubrey's face had been taken off, including the OG tube. She was given 30 mL of pedialyte water to start with and see how her system took it.... it took it well! Then she did 20 minutes of solid breastfeeding a couple of hours later, and so far, she's alright! Very big steps for Aubrey!!

We are staying another night to monitor how this feeding goes, and if all goes well, her IV comes off tonight. They haven't told us when we'd be going home but we'll wait for that right time because we don't want to go home and there are still problems. But everything is looking in the right direction.

I finally got to hold her...

Tonight was a bit harsh for baby Aubrey. It seems the pain of hunger has gotten to her because she couldn't stop crying, and I couldn't stop the guilt of not being able to feed her. We have to wait for the surgeon's OK before we can give her milk. It's so horrible to have to wait!!

But I was able to hold her tonight and hum her a lullabye that helped her to fall asleep. My poor little lady.......... she is going through so much.........

Have I said this enough?

I really hate seeing Aubrey sleeping peacefully only because she's got morphine in her. How I love the thought, though, that she's not feeling as much pain..... but I wish she were asleep only because she's sleeping and resting, not from the drug :(

My poor babygirl..... I can't wait until she's off this whole thing.

We miss you Gerard!!

Where do I even begin to express how much I miss my little brat?

It feels like I haven't seen him in a whole month, which pretty much is a fact. In between moving, settling down, giving birth to his new sister and going back to the hospital for her surgery, we have barely seen our bouncy boy. I miss him so much. The few times we have spent together -- which is barely a week in the last 30 days -- it feels like he has grown up so much! We call the little guy just about every day we aren't with him, and he's talking so much now. As his momma, I can't believe I'm missing all of this. But at the same time, I can't leave his baby sister alone at the hospital while she's recovering from surgery.

The day we brought his new sister home, Gerard was so excited. The smile on his face was priceless. Him wanting to touch his new sister was also priceless! And then knocking on our bedroom door first thing the following morning to say "Papa... Mama.... Bebe!" was very priceless too! He is very aware of his new baby sister :) Unfortunately, our reunion didn't last very long because we had to take her back to the hospital for a much-needed surgery. Once again, we had to say goodbye to our little man.... he cried and didn't want us to leave him.

We gave him a call today (he's been staying with grandma) and he mumbled a whole lot of toddler talk, but he did say "bebe." I'm sure he misses us just as much as we miss him.

We'll be home soon, Gerard. We love you so much.
 

"Maybe tomorrow"

That's the one phrase that's not such good news, but not bad news. Aubrey's surgeon determined that her NG tube (??) will be pulled today and then monitor how her system is without it, then "maybe tomorrow" she can eat. It pains us to see and hear her cry from the hunger. The best we can do is cradle her and make her go back to sleep to forget about it. Poor little angel......   Babies don't deserve any of this! They should be home, being fed and crying for more, and not hooked up to any tubes.

BabyCrowd.com © 2005 Contact Us | About Us | Browse Journals | Cord Blood | Add Your Link | Our Links

Out of ICU

We finally got to leave ICU and into a room that we can now share with Aubrey. This room is a lot less lonely! Especially now that we can sleep with her in the same room. She's still on IV, but that's pretty much it. No more oxygen, no more ventilator. Aubrey's making great progress.

The super nurses here have let me keep the pump and even brought the gamecube up to our room.... it wasn't even our request to have one in ICU, but nobody else was using it, so for some reason it followed us out of ICU. Papa might be pleased with that later when he comes here after work.

I'm a bit happier now with this progress, though the nurses and doctors in ICU were wonderful and so very helpful with EVERYTHING. To us, this means we're getting closer to being able to feed Aubrey.

The only bad news is that her jaundice level went up again. I'm hoping it goes down down down so she wouldn't have to go into photo therapy.

I've been kept entertained by friends (thanks guys!) via online chat and texting. Since Papa isn't here, the only conversations I have in person are with nurses regarding Aubrey. Another round of waiting, and I really hope we're getting closer to going home. I miss Gerard so much!!!!
 

Another day of waiting

We finally saw Aubrey's surgeon first thing this morning, and we're told she lost blood but nothing too bad.... so she will need another day to just lay in her crib hooked up to the IV. This means I can't feed her until "maybe" tomorrow. The nurses had to move her IV to her foot because her hand started swelling. Poor baby :( I really am in disbelief she's going through all of this...... lost blood, swelling and bruised hands..... she also has a bruised heel from another needle.......... everytime I think about why we're here it still makes me cry, but the only comfort I have is that if we didn't bring her in I would be crying sadder tears.

Little Aubrey's been crying on and off (we're told that's a good thing). She's finally letting out stool along with urine, so that's a very good sign. Surgeon also said we could hold her a little more today, but since she spends most of the day asleep, I won't be able to hold her until she's awake... which lasts about a minute at a time. I don't know how to express it anymore just how much I want to hold her for good, feed her the milk she deserves, and for us to be home already and reunited with her brother (whom I am always thinking about and missing so very much right now). But I know I can't rush her recovery, we have to take it by the day. I'm trying to keep my anxiety levels down with internet distraction while I sit across the room from Aubrey, but in this situation, even the internet is getting boring. I get up every few minutes or so to look at her or stroke her hair, stroke her head, stroke her foot.... Papa ended up going to work today though he was scheduled to be on vacation until Tuesday. But since we're in just a waiting period, we figured it's best he goes to work and save his last 2 days of vacation for when we're home.

Every chance I get Aubrey hears from me how she's a brave little soldier. Because she is. How her little body is going through so much right now, without our constant touch on her skin... she's swaddled up, that's all that's holding her tight. I am so anxious to hold her against me......... Even with all these things on her face, she's so beautiful. I'm thankful that she's even in my life, and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life watching her and her brother grow.
 

Another day of waiting

We finally saw Aubrey's surgeon first thing this morning, and we're told she lost blood but nothing too bad.... so she will need another day to just lay in her crib hooked up to the IV. This means I can't feed her until "maybe" tomorrow. The nurses had to move her IV to her foot because her hand started swelling. Poor baby :( I really am in disbelief she's going through all of this...... lost blood, swelling and bruised hands..... she also has a bruised heel from another needle.......... everytime I think about why we're here it still makes me cry, but the only comfort I have is that if we didn't bring her in I would be crying sadder tears.

Little Aubrey's been crying on and off (we're told that's a good thing). She's finally letting out stool along with urine, so that's a very good sign. Surgeon also said we could hold her a little more today, but since she spends most of the day asleep, I won't be able to hold her until she's awake... which lasts about a minute at a time. I don't know how to express it anymore just how much I want to hold her for good, feed her the milk she deserves, and for us to be home already and reunited with her brother (whom I am always thinking about and missing so very much right now). But I know I can't rush her recovery, we have to take it by the day. I'm trying to keep my anxiety levels down with internet distraction while I sit across the room from Aubrey, but in this situation, even the internet is getting boring. I get up every few minutes or so to look at her or stroke her hair, stroke her head, stroke her foot.... Papa ended up going to work today though he was scheduled to be on vacation until Tuesday. But since we're in just a waiting period, we figured it's best he goes to work and save his last 2 days of vacation for when we're home.

Every chance I get Aubrey hears from me how she's a brave little soldier. Because she is. How her little body is going through so much right now, without our constant touch on her skin... she's swaddled up, that's all that's holding her tight. I am so anxious to hold her against me......... Even with all these things on her face, she's so beautiful. I'm thankful that she's even in my life, and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life watching her and her brother grow.
 

Wonderful people

Since I have a lot of "free" time waiting here for Aubrey to recover, I should take a moment to write down all those who have been helping us through these last few weeks and coming days.....One day Aubrey will see this and understand how blessed she is to have these people for her.

In no particular rank, these people have gone out of their way with big things and little things that both Egan and I couldn't have done without their kindness, love and support.

Our parents: for helping us with buying our first house, helping us paint and clean the house in time for Aubrey's arrival, watching Gerard for days at a time, letting us eat off their kitchen, letting us use their laundry, throwing us a baby shower....this list goes on, and we can not thank them enough.

Cordova family: Uncle Belmon for helping us install a laundry unit in our house, Bern for the neverending support (she also just gave birth to her little boy whom we haven't had the chance to meet yet), Larry for giving papa rides to work while we're in major transition of settling into our house.... we're blessed to have this family in our lives.

Workmates and bosses: Approving our time off to allow us the opportunity to spend time together as a new family of 4, and Rio's workmates for giving so much support (for hand me downs, gifts, help with ANYTHING I may need, etc)

Nurses and doctors: whose expertise we trust. We are grateful for their services and keeping Aubrey in good hands, and answering all of our questions/concerns.

Our friends: The amazing group of friends we have in our lives are keeping our heads and spirits up. We are thankful for their neverending support to babysit, do things for us....  how did we get so lucky knowing such people....

Peeing

Aubrey is finally peeing normally. Until before her operation, she didn't have enough wet diapers, which is not good. But she's OK in that department now.

Go Aubrey!

Back to the hospital :(

A day after coming home, we were sent back to the hospital.
On Saturday morning, Aubrey's vomit turned lime green. I jumped on the internet to see what that meant, but because I've been blessed with perfect timing of things, her doctor called right there and then to follow up. I told her about the vomit, and she had us schedule an appointment at their after hours clinic to bring Aubrey in.

Apparently, it was a serious issue. We learned that her intestines were twisted (not too badly, but bad enough) and she needed an operation. We weren't expecting any of this. I thought they'd just give her meds and we'd be sent home. Instead, we're here at the hospital for another 4 days while she recovers.

They operated on her last night, and it wasn't an easy moment for me and her papa. We knew it had to be done, we had to watch her get poked at with needles for the IV (and her little hands got bruised in the process), see her little body move around in xray..... it's just very hard to take it all in, knowing she's only 3 days young and has a very small body. She's inexperienced with most things, yet, she's experienced one of the major things her body will ever go through already.

Her jaundice level also went up, but as of this early morning, it started going back down. Later today they will run lab on her to determine the level, and we are hoping that she doesn't need treatment for it.

Mama's here in the room waiting for her to heal, while papa went home to spend some time with big brother Gerard..... we all miss him so much, and it breaks my heart that we can't spend these precious days together. It feels like we haven't seen Gerard much in the last month because of moving house (he'd been staying with grandparents), and then Aubrey's birth, and now her surgery.... hospitals aren't allowing children under 16 to visit. Aubrey's been grunting and letting out a cry here and there, it also breaks my heart that I can't hold and comfort her. I won't be able to feed her until doctor says she's ok for it. In the meantime, I've been pumping. Before we took Aubrey in for treatment, she did latch on to me already 3 times. It's unfortunate that none of what I was feeding her really made it through her intestine, which explains why she was vomiting the formula we were giving her prior.

Papa and I can't wait until we can bring her home, and for us to be together again with Gerard. Christmas is coming up, we haven't had the chance to put our house in order or put any decorations up, or even bring Gerard out to see the lights. I almost feel like we might have to skip Christmas this year, but we'll do what we can to make it warm and memorable under the circumstances. I still need to buy Aubrey her own Santa stocking because the 3 of us already have one of each from last year. This year was supposed to be a meaningful Christmas to but we got set back with this operation. However, by all means, we are so very grateful that this was detected early as things could have been worse. So I am thankful that these doctors and nurses are around (instead of taking their holiday vacations early) to help us through these times.....   if it weren't for such people, I don't know how life would be for anyone who has medical needs. Ever since Gerard's birth last year, my appreciation for nurses have really taken a shot up because they are the most wonderful service people I can think of -- they do their jobs well to make it comfortable for patients.

Hello, Ms. Aubrey!

There was no long wait after my last blog.

The very next morning after that was written, I went into labor. Waking up at 5:46 am to empty my bladder, I started feeling a discomfort that lasted all morning long. I tried to sleep it off but didn't succeed. The pain just kept coming back, every 20 minutes or so. By 8am, I started timing them -- I wasn't sure if it was real labor contractions, or just pregnancy pain. But my timer was telling me that it was time. I was averaging minute-long contractions every 2-5 minutes for an hour. I got up right before 9 am to eat breakfast, and I didn't get too far: half a slice into my pizza, I couldn't take the pain anymore. I went to pee again and saw some blood. Papa Egan called the hospital and we were told to head out.

Now our toddler was with us, and since we weren't allowed to bring kids to the hospital, we had to drop him off with his great grandma. When we were getting ready to leave the house, I naturally blurted out a bad word from the pain and here's little Gerard repeating what I just said: "Paaaa!" You take a guess what word I said. I apologized but I couldn't help it.

On the drive to great grandma (it was about 9:30 am), the pain just got more serious. I was conscious about any other bad words so I kept quiet and breathed through the pain. Well, little Gerard started copying my breathing. It was very funny but I couldn't laugh in the moment because of all the pain. We had to get on the freeway and city streets to great grandma, so Papa only had time to drop him off without the chance to change his diaper because we had to trek again to another part of town to get to the hospital. And that's when the bad words came out of my mouth again ;-) Ahhhh.... I need to soap my dirty mouth.

We checked in at the hospital around 10 am and got situated right away. I was brought into triage where they got my information, got me in a robe, and then transferred to the delivery room. I was told that I was dilated almost 4cm, and that we'd deliver sometime before dinner.

In the delivery room, I got hooked up to the IV right away and asked for epidural. Maybe it was a bit early, but I wasn't about to stress myself out over anymore pain. I snuck in a bit of rest before I was ready to push -- that was at about 2:12 pm. It took me an hour of pushing and baby Aubrey came out, then the placenta followed shortly after. Even with all the epidural I had, I was able to feel her head come out. But I had a hard time feeling most of the contractions by then.She was 6 lbs and 14 oz, and 18.5 inches tall. Her lips are very beautiful and she has nice brown eyes!

They put her on my chest right away (something that didn't happen in my first pregnancy), and we had our bonding time for a while until the nurses took her for weighing, hep C shot, and a bath. We tried breastfeeding within the hour but as expected, she did not latch.

We were transferred to the post partum room about 2 or 3 hours later where I still am tonight. Our discharge day is tomorrow (Friday). I've been eating well, and trying to get Aubrey to latch. She's trying! She makes the sucking motion, so I know she's trying. She's had some formula in the meantime.

Aubrey's been such an alert and good baby. She only cries when her diaper is soiled, and other times, she's looking around. For the most part, she's been sleeping.

As for me, I've mostly been in bed and recovering. Being in bed drives me crazy, but I haven't really had the chance to walk around either. I'm still experiencing some pain on my stitches. Painkillers aren't working very well.

I really can't wait to get home and have Gerard see his new sister! I know our hands will be fuller and lives will be even crazier, but I'm so very happy to have these tiny tots around! I'm saying that now..... wait till later, right? Yes--I will wait till later. In the meantime, I'm going to enjoy my two babies!!

I made it this far, today was my last day at work

I'm entering my 39th week, and completed my last day at work today. As of tomorrow, I'm officially on my maternity leave and left to wait, wait, wait....

At 37 weeks and 6 days, I got induced in my first pregnancy. Now that I've gone farther than that without any sign or need for "forced labor" (hehehe), my body is ACHING to give birth already!! I feel so helpless...... I want to do so much cleaning and take care of my toddler while he's still the only child, but my body just can not do it! We really want to meet our baby girl now!! And since it's out already, her name is going to be Aubrey Artemis. Look it up :) I chose the name Aubrey because I simply love the name, and her daddy chose Artemis because it has a great meaning.

My colleagues at work threw me another shower today, these people are wonderful.

I am now just waiting for the day to come. Yes, I'm anxious about the pains of labor which I did not experience last time, being drugged out and all from being induced. I am hoping that I do get induced again, but I guess I'll have to do this naturally if there is no reason for it. I have my weekly check up again tomorrow, let's see what doctor says if I've dilated more since last week. I actually haven't seen anymore discharges since Thanksgiving when what seems to be my mucous plug passed.

Wait, wait, wait.