not feeling fat - that's a good thing

before i was pregnant, i'd always half-joke about gaining weight and feeling fat, and when it was serious i'd feel gross looking in the mirror. i'm short, and overweight for my height is 128 lbs. i was 132 lbs about 6 or 7 months before i got pregnant, but i lost 15 of those pounds during that time. so i was feeling good and it was noticeable......until around september when i made my pregnancy known to those closest to me.

apparently, my doctor said i have been gaining weight too fast the last time we had an appointment. i can't help it. i like to indulge when i eat. around here, carb-heavy foods are so accessible.

but i guess the best part is that i don't even feel fat, and i'm amazed my arms don't look like they were when i was 132 lbs (i looked much bigger then). in fact, i feel quite normal with my body shape, with the exception of the obvious growing belly.

our appointment is set for this coming tuesday. it's likely just to be a routine appointment because it's been more than a month since the last one. i have a whole sheet of questions for doc from a birth plan i printed out. i don't understand half of the terms in it. lol.

gerard continues to entertain me with his kicks and squirms. he does it a lot when i'm in a meeting, and i can't help but pay more attention to him than what's going on around me. :) yesterday, i popped a truffle in my mouth during a meeting and a few minutes later, he was kicking a lot. maybe he enjoyed it? he's gotten me craving for chocolate lately and i actually hate chocolate. i also started tapping at my belly button with a pen, and it prompted some sort of response from him.

a few of the last mornings, i've woken up with my stomach in busy movement -- i don't know about others but i love waking up knowing he's active! i may regret saying that when he's born and i'm not getting any sleep! it's okay... i've already tortured myself over the years with lack of sleep so it won't be new to me. his weight is noticeably heavier by the day which pleases me because he's growing! the most serious complaining i've ever really had during this whole pregnancy is that when i go on my disability leave from work, my monthly income will be so low and depressing (atleast, lower than what i'm used to getting). other than that, all the uncomfortable symptoms were just symptoms to me, knowing that i have to go through them. reading ahead prepared me so that would be my advice to friends who are reading this and planning to have their first kids soon *wink wink*. i'm surprised with myself that i'm actually enjoying this (though scared as hell at the thought of labor) because i was never the type to even talk about having kids ever, until just a couple of months before i actually got pregnant.

it's been raining all day and cold too. not my favorite weather!!! i'm wearing layers right now and feeling quite warm but i'd rather just be in a shirt and sweats!

time for dinner. gerard also likes to kick when i haven't eaten. P.S. Check the photo album! I took a snapshot of my belly tonight, and this is the first and only time I've put a picture of it up anywhere. 

Sleeping has been weird

The last two nights have been difficult for me to sleep. I go to bed at a reasonably early time (early for me). When I finally fall asleep, I wake up with below-the-waist numb or pain, or both. Oh and my bladder is going wild again. I know these are common symptoms around this time, so I'm not really trippin'. But it's kind of annoying, I guess. Especially how I can't knock out so fast. 

shopping for baby

i've always been a sucker for baby clothes, so now i'm more of a sucker about it. this past weekend we were making an inventory of what clothings we have so far, and also did a bit of shopping. on her most recent vacation, grandma hernandez bought items for baby. they are the cutest things! one of them is a red puffy vest. papa egan has one, i have one, and baby will have one. vest buddies. yeah. there's also some clothing for the next winter season, and i can't wait to put it on gerard! unfortunately for papa, because he hates croc shoes (especially for kids), grandma hernandez actually bought some for baby so now he has a pair. i have no comment on crocs, but i just had to hold his pair before i went to bed last night and tried to imagine his little feet in them. we've been adding items to our baby registry, but there are some items we couldn't resist buying on our own. we checked out some strollers and playpens and decided on a couple of products. papa and mama also have a personal wishlist so we are budgeting every move, and making sure everyone gets what they need. at the moment, we're apartment hunting so the days are keeping us busy. hopefully, we settle in asap because it's getting hard(er) by the week for me to actively move around. but hey, i actually feel really good for the most part. i had to re-schedule my appointment from this week to next. we won't have baby updates until then. 

big and bigger

baby gerard is coming along just great in fetushood, as he gets ready for his big day. he's obviously growing, and i'm obviously bigger now. his movements always get me giddy. i notice the movements much moreso when i'm in long meetings at work. a nice distraction for once. maybe he gets hungry because those meetings tend to overlap the lunch hour. most of the time, i feel him actually turning or squirming, because they're not just punches or kicks. i love the random flutters as well, it's almost as if he's giving me a good tickle.

perhaps i'm having an improper diet, but the last few days have got me gagging more often than i did in the first trimester. hmmm...a little odd? i don't feel nauseous or anything, though.

next appointment is in about 2 weeks. i believe doc will schedule me for glucose testing. i hope this one goes well, as my other tests have so far proven. there's a good chance we may have to switch to a different hospital and/or doctor just right before birth. papa egan will find out if doctor rittenhouse is also a resident at the hospital he works, as he swears he saw his name around the building once. if we end up finding a home in the area where papa works, and doctor rittenhouse is also a doctor there, we would be so grateful!! we need to start researching for pediatricians already, but i'm relying on finding a home first  in order to look for nearby clinics/hospitals.

Getting all rashed up again

One of the assistants at our doctor's office told me that my rashes could possibly last throughout this pregnancy (which happened to one of their previous patients), and though mine went away for a good while, they are back. In the last two weeks alone, my belly just kind of popped out of nowhere. I wasn't showing much a month ago, and now, it's getting hard to hide it. :) Surely this rash is corresponding with the stretches of my skin, but it's driving me crazy!!! Knowing my little belly jean is growing, on the other hand, is an awesome reason why. :) 

Responding to noise

As every family gathering goes, we watch a lot of movies. Today, for our new year gathering (which was rather boring) one of the movies we watched was Die Hard, Live Longer (or something like that). It had a lot of explosion and stuff, and my uncle's sound system is pimped out so not only could you hear the bass, but you feel it too. Apparently, Gerard felt it as well. He was kicking in startle everytime something exploded. On an unrelated (or kindof related) note, the bad guy in the movie was named Thomas Gabriel. That was a name we had thought of the day we found out we were having a boy. Thomas, Dylan, Gerard... were a few of the names we were going to pair with Gabriel. He's also been feeling heavier each day. Getting up from a chair, and in fact, just sitting down, feels a whole lot different now than a month ago. It's hard to sit on the floor, and whenever I get up it I definitely feel the extra weight from my belly. Last night, I had to sleep with a pillow under the side of stomach for the first time. I've read early on that the pillow really helps but I hadn't had the need for it until last night. I usually sleep on my left side, but my back was hurting that way and when I turned to my right side, my belly was drooping a lot more than I've ever noticed. Perhaps maybe, his head was weighing down on my right side which might be why it felt heavier. I've been bad and lazy about eating fruit as of late, and because of the holidays, I'm overwhelmed with chocolate around me. That's pretty much what I've been snacking on, and I don't even like chocolate all that much. Agghhh. Back to work tomorrow. Not.so.happy.about.that!

Christmas

I've been away from work for the last week, and won't be back until next Wednesday, after the new year rings in. If only I could take everyday off, it would be sweet. Our Christmas went well. Spent it with my family, and stayed up really late on Christmas eve. Next Christmas, Gerard would be about 8 months old. Old enough to see the lights. It should be more exciting for us then, since this time around, I was just a big little thing (a 5 foot, belly-growing thing) sitting on the couch. I'm trying to upload a picture of myself but I'm too lazy to downsize it. Anyway, take my word: I look a lot bigger in the picture than I actually feel. But I am now convinced that my stomach isn't just fat anymore, it's an actual baby belly growing. Never thought I'd see myself look like this but it's definitely a cool experience. As I type, Gerard is squirming around :) He seems to be up late, from 10pm to after midnight. Just like me. -Rio