Happy Birthday!

April 11 is our darling son's 3rd birthday!

Where did the time go? It really, really, REALLY does seem like it's only been some few months that I had my first glance of him as he entered our lives! He's absolutely changed everything about me, about us, and everyone around us.

We celebrated his birthday a day early with a picnic at beautiful Crissy Field. We were blessed with a gorgeous warm day! Friends and family came to help us celebrate.

Everyday, I thank God for bringing this kid to my life. Through him, I have learned to value the littlest matters in my life. It is because of him that the little things make big sense to me now.

Thank you, Gerard, for being the greatest challenge I've ever faced. I'm learning to do my best to be your guide as you (and Aubrey) both grow up.

Family time

We recently attended and celebrated the 10 years of marriage my brother and his wife have kept.

To mark the significance, they had a church blessing (finally) and it was just a small family-only event.

Because it took place kind of late on a Wednesday night, we decided to just bring Gerard at the last minute. Aubrey didn't get to go because she sleeps early, and we didn't want to bring her out when the girl wants her sleep. Gerard's bedtime was looming too, but since he hadn't been out of the house for a few days, we wanted to let him out.

As any toddler in church, of course he didn't want to sit still. Egan and I manned the cameras so we had to let Gerard do his thing, although, grandpa did try to restrain him and so did his other uncles.

Well, after the blessing, the priest passed out so there was a moment of panic. As emergency was being called I had the urge to keep recording the incident (was it rude of me?) I consider myself a documentarian, hence these blogs I try to keep updated. So all I had was a camera, and it was second nature of me to let it roll.

In the midst, Gerard disappeared. When I realized this, I ran to the back of the church first on my nephew's tip that he saw him go that way. I called out his name but didn't get a response, and I knew that he would respond to me in that situation if he were okay.

I ran back out to Egan who was taking photos of the emergency vehicles and he told me that Gerard wasn't there. I ran back in the church and shouted out if anyone has seen Gerard. At that point, he emerged from the back area with my aunt.

So that had me panicking, but thank goodness, he was with my aunt.

That brings me to a reminder: shooting photos/being a documentarian can only be second to watching our kids when they are with us. And I live by that: when we're out, I don't go crazy with photographing. I know I'm always a parent first no matter what.

When there was a window to leave the priest in the care of the medical team, we headed to the late dinner party. We had a real good time eating and drinking, and being loud.... and before we left, I realized my dress was on backwards.

As we entered home, Aubrey was comfortably sprawled out on our family bed and grandma was watching a movie. We put Gerard in bed and I spent a few minutes just staring at them as they slept.

Every night, I go to bed telling myself how fulfilling my crazy life is. I love these kids so much, and nothing will ever change that.

Is he really 3 already?

Three years ago today, I had no idea that I would be giving birth in a few days. I hope to never forget the very day I was sent to the hospital to get induced. That was April 10, 2008.

I gave birth to Gerard on April 11 and it's been one crazy ride. I'm looking at his baby picture on our wall as I write this, and am remembering those first few weeks. He was so tiny and clueless and all he knew was how to cry for milk.

Now we have an energy-filled toddler who can not stop talking, running, jumping and sleeps like a rock at night.

Shortly after he was born, a song by The Platters stuck with me and I have since dedicated it to Gerard. "Only You" described every ounce of feeling I had when I finally felt that connection with him as his mama. It took me a few days because his whole existence in my life was still overwhelming me and it was hard to believe I had a child.

I love him ever so dearly, and wish him a very good third year.

This blog entry is just about his birthday, I have another one to write :)

Letter to my brats

Dear kids,

You're two of the millions of children who barely get to see your parents while we're away at work. Unfortunately, we can't take you to playgroups or the park everyday, nor do we get to go out everyday. By the time we get home, our special time is spent eating dinner (or when you decide you want to eat), watching TV, reading books and brushing our teeth. Even if that's all we can do in our limited times at night, you bet we're enjoying that bonding we get to do. Just remember, we both work to secure your futures. We live in a metropolis where we can't afford having just 1 income. Because this is what we chose to do, we chose to live here, we made choices that allow us to live the kind of life we want to expose you to. We may not have always made the right choices, but we're working very hard to fix "mistakes" or better yet, they are helping all of us to become the people we need to be. We never looked for the easy way out (whatever that is) and we want you to learn the value of working your way up in the real world. Trust us--this world needs people like that in order for it to operate.

Love yous,

mama + papa

My conscientious son

Tonight, in my toddler son's presence, I shared frustrations with my husband in the same room about our mobile provider. I was so pissed off that my tone took over.

My son, thinking I was fighting his dad, calmly walked to where I was sitting and asked of me, "Mama, don't talk that way." I gave him a kiss and assured him I wasn't mad at his papa. Then he walked to his dad and said the same thing.

I'm rather amazed that he is taking the initiative to calm me down. I see in him a son that I can rely on during tough times.

A sad little entry

More days than not, I think about the missing kids I read about and their parents who live another day not knowing where they are. I can not imagine the tension and the hole, and I hope I never have to feel it.

Then there are those who have lost a child to death, and even though I can't feel that pain, just feeling what I feel for them sinks me in my own sadness.

Even before I was a parent, I've already harbored such emotions. In the earliest of my adolescent years, I had already felt the urge that I need to help children in unfortunate situations. I haven't quite done much at all, but I'm working on it.

I do now believe my calling is in that department. Now that I have kids I have a stronger urge to protect them, to spare myself the lifetime depression from any bad incidents, and to get involved with organizing awareness that will fight child trafficking, abuse, murder.

Rear-facing carseats: INFO for parents

http://www.cnn.com/2011/HEALTH/03/21/car.seat.guidelines.parenting/index.html?hpt=Sbin