Out of ICU

We finally got to leave ICU and into a room that we can now share with Aubrey. This room is a lot less lonely! Especially now that we can sleep with her in the same room. She's still on IV, but that's pretty much it. No more oxygen, no more ventilator. Aubrey's making great progress.

The super nurses here have let me keep the pump and even brought the gamecube up to our room.... it wasn't even our request to have one in ICU, but nobody else was using it, so for some reason it followed us out of ICU. Papa might be pleased with that later when he comes here after work.

I'm a bit happier now with this progress, though the nurses and doctors in ICU were wonderful and so very helpful with EVERYTHING. To us, this means we're getting closer to being able to feed Aubrey.

The only bad news is that her jaundice level went up again. I'm hoping it goes down down down so she wouldn't have to go into photo therapy.

I've been kept entertained by friends (thanks guys!) via online chat and texting. Since Papa isn't here, the only conversations I have in person are with nurses regarding Aubrey. Another round of waiting, and I really hope we're getting closer to going home. I miss Gerard so much!!!!
 

Another day of waiting

We finally saw Aubrey's surgeon first thing this morning, and we're told she lost blood but nothing too bad.... so she will need another day to just lay in her crib hooked up to the IV. This means I can't feed her until "maybe" tomorrow. The nurses had to move her IV to her foot because her hand started swelling. Poor baby :( I really am in disbelief she's going through all of this...... lost blood, swelling and bruised hands..... she also has a bruised heel from another needle.......... everytime I think about why we're here it still makes me cry, but the only comfort I have is that if we didn't bring her in I would be crying sadder tears.

Little Aubrey's been crying on and off (we're told that's a good thing). She's finally letting out stool along with urine, so that's a very good sign. Surgeon also said we could hold her a little more today, but since she spends most of the day asleep, I won't be able to hold her until she's awake... which lasts about a minute at a time. I don't know how to express it anymore just how much I want to hold her for good, feed her the milk she deserves, and for us to be home already and reunited with her brother (whom I am always thinking about and missing so very much right now). But I know I can't rush her recovery, we have to take it by the day. I'm trying to keep my anxiety levels down with internet distraction while I sit across the room from Aubrey, but in this situation, even the internet is getting boring. I get up every few minutes or so to look at her or stroke her hair, stroke her head, stroke her foot.... Papa ended up going to work today though he was scheduled to be on vacation until Tuesday. But since we're in just a waiting period, we figured it's best he goes to work and save his last 2 days of vacation for when we're home.

Every chance I get Aubrey hears from me how she's a brave little soldier. Because she is. How her little body is going through so much right now, without our constant touch on her skin... she's swaddled up, that's all that's holding her tight. I am so anxious to hold her against me......... Even with all these things on her face, she's so beautiful. I'm thankful that she's even in my life, and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life watching her and her brother grow.
 

Another day of waiting

We finally saw Aubrey's surgeon first thing this morning, and we're told she lost blood but nothing too bad.... so she will need another day to just lay in her crib hooked up to the IV. This means I can't feed her until "maybe" tomorrow. The nurses had to move her IV to her foot because her hand started swelling. Poor baby :( I really am in disbelief she's going through all of this...... lost blood, swelling and bruised hands..... she also has a bruised heel from another needle.......... everytime I think about why we're here it still makes me cry, but the only comfort I have is that if we didn't bring her in I would be crying sadder tears.

Little Aubrey's been crying on and off (we're told that's a good thing). She's finally letting out stool along with urine, so that's a very good sign. Surgeon also said we could hold her a little more today, but since she spends most of the day asleep, I won't be able to hold her until she's awake... which lasts about a minute at a time. I don't know how to express it anymore just how much I want to hold her for good, feed her the milk she deserves, and for us to be home already and reunited with her brother (whom I am always thinking about and missing so very much right now). But I know I can't rush her recovery, we have to take it by the day. I'm trying to keep my anxiety levels down with internet distraction while I sit across the room from Aubrey, but in this situation, even the internet is getting boring. I get up every few minutes or so to look at her or stroke her hair, stroke her head, stroke her foot.... Papa ended up going to work today though he was scheduled to be on vacation until Tuesday. But since we're in just a waiting period, we figured it's best he goes to work and save his last 2 days of vacation for when we're home.

Every chance I get Aubrey hears from me how she's a brave little soldier. Because she is. How her little body is going through so much right now, without our constant touch on her skin... she's swaddled up, that's all that's holding her tight. I am so anxious to hold her against me......... Even with all these things on her face, she's so beautiful. I'm thankful that she's even in my life, and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life watching her and her brother grow.
 

Wonderful people

Since I have a lot of "free" time waiting here for Aubrey to recover, I should take a moment to write down all those who have been helping us through these last few weeks and coming days.....One day Aubrey will see this and understand how blessed she is to have these people for her.

In no particular rank, these people have gone out of their way with big things and little things that both Egan and I couldn't have done without their kindness, love and support.

Our parents: for helping us with buying our first house, helping us paint and clean the house in time for Aubrey's arrival, watching Gerard for days at a time, letting us eat off their kitchen, letting us use their laundry, throwing us a baby shower....this list goes on, and we can not thank them enough.

Cordova family: Uncle Belmon for helping us install a laundry unit in our house, Bern for the neverending support (she also just gave birth to her little boy whom we haven't had the chance to meet yet), Larry for giving papa rides to work while we're in major transition of settling into our house.... we're blessed to have this family in our lives.

Workmates and bosses: Approving our time off to allow us the opportunity to spend time together as a new family of 4, and Rio's workmates for giving so much support (for hand me downs, gifts, help with ANYTHING I may need, etc)

Nurses and doctors: whose expertise we trust. We are grateful for their services and keeping Aubrey in good hands, and answering all of our questions/concerns.

Our friends: The amazing group of friends we have in our lives are keeping our heads and spirits up. We are thankful for their neverending support to babysit, do things for us....  how did we get so lucky knowing such people....

Peeing

Aubrey is finally peeing normally. Until before her operation, she didn't have enough wet diapers, which is not good. But she's OK in that department now.

Go Aubrey!

Back to the hospital :(

A day after coming home, we were sent back to the hospital.
On Saturday morning, Aubrey's vomit turned lime green. I jumped on the internet to see what that meant, but because I've been blessed with perfect timing of things, her doctor called right there and then to follow up. I told her about the vomit, and she had us schedule an appointment at their after hours clinic to bring Aubrey in.

Apparently, it was a serious issue. We learned that her intestines were twisted (not too badly, but bad enough) and she needed an operation. We weren't expecting any of this. I thought they'd just give her meds and we'd be sent home. Instead, we're here at the hospital for another 4 days while she recovers.

They operated on her last night, and it wasn't an easy moment for me and her papa. We knew it had to be done, we had to watch her get poked at with needles for the IV (and her little hands got bruised in the process), see her little body move around in xray..... it's just very hard to take it all in, knowing she's only 3 days young and has a very small body. She's inexperienced with most things, yet, she's experienced one of the major things her body will ever go through already.

Her jaundice level also went up, but as of this early morning, it started going back down. Later today they will run lab on her to determine the level, and we are hoping that she doesn't need treatment for it.

Mama's here in the room waiting for her to heal, while papa went home to spend some time with big brother Gerard..... we all miss him so much, and it breaks my heart that we can't spend these precious days together. It feels like we haven't seen Gerard much in the last month because of moving house (he'd been staying with grandparents), and then Aubrey's birth, and now her surgery.... hospitals aren't allowing children under 16 to visit. Aubrey's been grunting and letting out a cry here and there, it also breaks my heart that I can't hold and comfort her. I won't be able to feed her until doctor says she's ok for it. In the meantime, I've been pumping. Before we took Aubrey in for treatment, she did latch on to me already 3 times. It's unfortunate that none of what I was feeding her really made it through her intestine, which explains why she was vomiting the formula we were giving her prior.

Papa and I can't wait until we can bring her home, and for us to be together again with Gerard. Christmas is coming up, we haven't had the chance to put our house in order or put any decorations up, or even bring Gerard out to see the lights. I almost feel like we might have to skip Christmas this year, but we'll do what we can to make it warm and memorable under the circumstances. I still need to buy Aubrey her own Santa stocking because the 3 of us already have one of each from last year. This year was supposed to be a meaningful Christmas to but we got set back with this operation. However, by all means, we are so very grateful that this was detected early as things could have been worse. So I am thankful that these doctors and nurses are around (instead of taking their holiday vacations early) to help us through these times.....   if it weren't for such people, I don't know how life would be for anyone who has medical needs. Ever since Gerard's birth last year, my appreciation for nurses have really taken a shot up because they are the most wonderful service people I can think of -- they do their jobs well to make it comfortable for patients.

Hello, Ms. Aubrey!

There was no long wait after my last blog.

The very next morning after that was written, I went into labor. Waking up at 5:46 am to empty my bladder, I started feeling a discomfort that lasted all morning long. I tried to sleep it off but didn't succeed. The pain just kept coming back, every 20 minutes or so. By 8am, I started timing them -- I wasn't sure if it was real labor contractions, or just pregnancy pain. But my timer was telling me that it was time. I was averaging minute-long contractions every 2-5 minutes for an hour. I got up right before 9 am to eat breakfast, and I didn't get too far: half a slice into my pizza, I couldn't take the pain anymore. I went to pee again and saw some blood. Papa Egan called the hospital and we were told to head out.

Now our toddler was with us, and since we weren't allowed to bring kids to the hospital, we had to drop him off with his great grandma. When we were getting ready to leave the house, I naturally blurted out a bad word from the pain and here's little Gerard repeating what I just said: "Paaaa!" You take a guess what word I said. I apologized but I couldn't help it.

On the drive to great grandma (it was about 9:30 am), the pain just got more serious. I was conscious about any other bad words so I kept quiet and breathed through the pain. Well, little Gerard started copying my breathing. It was very funny but I couldn't laugh in the moment because of all the pain. We had to get on the freeway and city streets to great grandma, so Papa only had time to drop him off without the chance to change his diaper because we had to trek again to another part of town to get to the hospital. And that's when the bad words came out of my mouth again ;-) Ahhhh.... I need to soap my dirty mouth.

We checked in at the hospital around 10 am and got situated right away. I was brought into triage where they got my information, got me in a robe, and then transferred to the delivery room. I was told that I was dilated almost 4cm, and that we'd deliver sometime before dinner.

In the delivery room, I got hooked up to the IV right away and asked for epidural. Maybe it was a bit early, but I wasn't about to stress myself out over anymore pain. I snuck in a bit of rest before I was ready to push -- that was at about 2:12 pm. It took me an hour of pushing and baby Aubrey came out, then the placenta followed shortly after. Even with all the epidural I had, I was able to feel her head come out. But I had a hard time feeling most of the contractions by then.She was 6 lbs and 14 oz, and 18.5 inches tall. Her lips are very beautiful and she has nice brown eyes!

They put her on my chest right away (something that didn't happen in my first pregnancy), and we had our bonding time for a while until the nurses took her for weighing, hep C shot, and a bath. We tried breastfeeding within the hour but as expected, she did not latch.

We were transferred to the post partum room about 2 or 3 hours later where I still am tonight. Our discharge day is tomorrow (Friday). I've been eating well, and trying to get Aubrey to latch. She's trying! She makes the sucking motion, so I know she's trying. She's had some formula in the meantime.

Aubrey's been such an alert and good baby. She only cries when her diaper is soiled, and other times, she's looking around. For the most part, she's been sleeping.

As for me, I've mostly been in bed and recovering. Being in bed drives me crazy, but I haven't really had the chance to walk around either. I'm still experiencing some pain on my stitches. Painkillers aren't working very well.

I really can't wait to get home and have Gerard see his new sister! I know our hands will be fuller and lives will be even crazier, but I'm so very happy to have these tiny tots around! I'm saying that now..... wait till later, right? Yes--I will wait till later. In the meantime, I'm going to enjoy my two babies!!