I really can't feel inspired by anything. I am staying as strong as I can for the 4 of us. It's not easy, but I want you kids to carry on as normally as possible. I will turn down requests to buy this and that and we will tone down on eating out. I don't want Aubrey's birthday ruined so we will do something nice. I don't know what. But without papa, I am sad and weak.

The night of his arrest has led me to day after day of challenge to keep going. To keep hope. To be strong. It's so hard. 

Yet I feel like our bond has strengthened. We want you back papa.